A Letter From Your Fat Friend

Those who have extra weight exactly know how it feels when someone would name them FAT.

 Can you guess?

The woman who is hiding behind the pseudonym „Your Fat Friend “speaks openly about how it feels when you talk about yourself being fat, and nearby is your friend who really has overweight problems.
You need to listen to me carefully. Please believe me, when I will tell you what is about to happen.

It is ok to call me fat because it’s who I am.

I am wearing size 29- so  fat, that some stores for fat people do not have my size.Do you know that  some doctors refuse to examine me? I am so fat that every time when I get to the airplane, I am scared to death that I might get kicked off, without returning my money charging me twice, so after that, I would have to explain to my friends, colleges, family, why I didn’t go to that trip.

Every discussion about my looks, whether is at the media or between friends, is all about how to avoid the tragic destiny to have my looks. You should hear, that all of this hurts and that is happening all the time. I know that it’s hard to speak about these things. But when I speak about the obesity, I do not speak about the feelings or the self-confidence, or the problems with the picture that I have for myself and my inner strength. I am speaking about the manner, which certain individuals and institutions are treating me and the people alike me.
You need to convince me, that I and you have a different experience because I am fat. You need to think about your audience.

When you tell me that you hate your body, because you are fat or that you will gain weight, or that you shouldn’t have eaten your lunch or your dessert, or when you will declare your new year’s resolution about losing 5,10 or 15 kilograms, you are telling that you do not want to have my body. Your feelings are truthful and credible. But besides that, you should not tell these to a person who is fat.

I am aware that all of us are hurt, in case someone is disgracing us and our body and that everybody has deep, feelings about our body.

Sometimes I get tired, become frustrated and angry because of the emotional work that I need to do in order to prepare the people around me to hear what I am and what I need.

You should learn to love the big parts of your body. Let them grow as a wild flower, that you loved when you were a child. Love the way it suits  you; it warms you. Its only purpose is to take care of you. You should try loving it if you intend to love me.

Please remember that blaming the individuals for the harassment that put you through is not effective  and not supportive.

You need to provide less sympathy and greater solidarity. Less compassionate, more hard feelings. Less talk more action. You should stop comforting me. I  need allies.

If you ask me what I need, I would say- I need you to try.

Here is a video that can explain some feelings:

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