Brace yourselves, Bay Area, for gridlock tonight

Measure B, a new VTA proposed half cent sales tax up for voters this fall, is meant to relieve traffic congestion in the South Bay. (Karl Mondon/Bay Area News Group)

Halloween’s still weeks away, but Bay Area traffic, already scary on most weeknights, promises to be truly frightening this evening.

Expect the gridlock to attack you from all sides during Thursday’s rush hour, as a tech conference in San Francisco, an evening 49ers game in Santa Clara and a rare Warriors contest in San Jose conspire to form one endless morass of rubber and steel, all creeping along our highways in the slowest of slow-motions.

The fun begins in San Francisco, where traffic downtown has already been tied up all week by Dreamforce ’16, Salesforce’s humongous be-in that yearly closes city streets in the South of Market neighborhood, sure to make this evening’s commute out of the city pure hell.

And don’t think for a moment that SOMA will be chill and traffic-free at a decent hour:

“9:00 p.m.–12:00 a.m.,” said the Dreamforce schedule for this evening. “AppBash and Partner Parties”

Forty-three miles to the south in Santa Clara, the San Francisco 49ers

host the Arizona Cardinals at Levi’s Stadium, where a 5:25 p.m. kickoff means a 4:25 p.m. headache for anyone trying to get into or out of Silicon Valley, particularly along Highways 101 and 237.

And just as that football game gets underway, Golden State Warriors fans will be flocking to the SAP Center in downtown San Jose for a 7:30 p.m. tip-off as their team welcomes the Sacramento Kings in their second preseason game.

The good news? Fans making an appearance at SAP for the Warriors game will get a Klay Thompson San Jose Sharks Edition Bobblehead, featuring the All-Star shooting guard in a Sharks sweater in a nod to the Bay Area’s NHL stars.

The other news: Traffic coming into the game at rush hour should be nasty.

Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

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