What Kind of Stoner You Are, Based on Your Zodiac Sign

It’s that time of year again: the sun is reminding you what vitamin D feels like, the tree on your block is suddenly not a leafless tangle of dark, depressing wood limbs, and weed dealers everywhere are preparing for their biggest day of the year. With spring temperatures creeping in, you may find yourself outside rolling an uncooperative j on a zip-up-hoodie-and-shorts kind of night. As you get high and look at the stars (or lack thereof if you live in a nature-sucking city like New York), what you feel next may depend on more than the THC:CBD ratio in your weed—it could depend on the stars staring back at you.

In honor of Weed Week here at VICE, Broadly spoke to our beloved staff astrologer Annabel Gat and High Times astrologer Aelie Câlin about each of the twelve Zodiac signs and their respective relationships to weed.

Fire Signs

According to Gat, fire signs—that is Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius—have the most varied relationship to getting high. “Aries is a really fast moving, really kind of action-oriented sign, so getting stoned is kind of antithetical to what an Aries is all about,” she says. Still, they hate being bored. When it comes to getting high, Câlin says Aries will prefer psychedelics to more mellow and less challenging highs like the ones you’d get from cannabis.

For Leos, their weed experiences are all about choosing the right strain. “For the most part, people think that Leos are going to be really social people, but in fact they’re not really,” says Câlin. That said, they should focus on finding strains that relax them and make them feel more social or chatty. “Basically, if it causes any social anxiety, they’re not gonna dig it,” she notes.

Sagittarius, known as the explorers of the zodiac, “also want to explore their own minds and go to different places within themselves,” according to Gat. Câlin agrees, and adds that Sags must be careful with weed due to their introspective inclinations. She urges them to pick active strains in order to avoid “philosophizing themselves into Alice and Wonderland basically.”

Earth Signs

“Earth signs [Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn] are probably the biggest stoners,” says Gat. It should come as no surprise that earth signs have a high affinity for cannabis considering that they are the most connected to nature. Taurus season literally starts on 4/20. According to Câlin, Tauruses may enjoy getting high, but only if it’s the right kind of high. Because they hate losing control of their thoughts, Tauruses are far more into strains that will result in body highs. “If it feels luscious and yummy they’ll get into it,” she says.

Earth signs are probably the biggest stoners.

“Virgo is the medicine maker, the hermit out in the woods tending to their garden,” says Gat. Because of this, Virgos are more likely to enjoy weed for its medicinal and healing purposes. When they use it recreationally, they’re looking for something to help them disconnect from their obsessive thinking, says Câlin. Remember, the healers of the zodiac need to take care of themselves, too.

Unlike Taurus and Virgo, Capricorns’ relationship to weed isn’t so sensual or medicinal. “[It’s] more about wanting to take a break from working their ass off all day,” says Gat. Câlin explains that the high Caps are after is the opposite of a Taurus’s. Capricorns like to be in control of their bodies, so they’ll often opt for sativas over indicas. “They have to be careful because pot can make them very vulnerable,” says Câlin.

Air Signs

“Air is the element of logic and communication and the mind, so for [air signs like Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius], getting high is really about being able to have a different perspective and being able to see things in a different way,” explains Gat. Geminis, being pretty scattered, are also better off when they pay attention to what kind of strain they’re smoking. Câlin says they’d be better off picking strains that help them focus on specific tasks. Otherwise, “they’ll just feel quite lost in the wind,” she says.

According to Câlin, Libras have a strong need to feel balanced. They freak out when things are too erratic, and often times, weed can intensify that for them. However, if they smoke in a calm and controlled environment, they’re much happier with their experience. “It’s better for them to smoke alone or in nature with someone they feel is also relaxed,” she says.

Beyond the earth signs, Câlin believes that Aquarians make up a large portion of the world’s stoners. For them, relaxation is always the goal. They’re the type to wake up looking forward to smoking the second they get home from work. She recommends the Pitbull strain for them, which is mostly indica. “They just want to be on the couch,” she says.

Water Signs

For water signs (Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces), motivations to smoke weed stem from their emotions. “Getting stoned is kind of like a way for them to either tap into their feelings if that’s what their goal is or tap out of their feelings because they can become really overwhelmed with them,” says Gat. Câlin says that Cancers’ strong emotions can make them too intense. “They can use pot as a nice buffer zone from the world just to create a little soft pillow between them and their reality,” she says.

Scorpios need to hold their tongue a lot when they smoke pot.

According to Câlin, “Scorpios need to hold their tongue a lot when they smoke pot.” Their tendency to get verbose can, more often than not, result in being a little mean. They’re usually more fond of sativas. Whether the uplifting cerebral effects of sativas are a good thing for Scorpios or not is questionable, but Câlin says they’re generally having a good time while high (even if they are annoying other people).

When it comes to Pisces and pot, Câlin warns that they should proceed with caution. She says that Pisces like to be in control, but “they don’t understand it really well. They slip between going crazy and doing irrational things and then being really clamped down.” Adding weed to the mix doesn’t always help. “It can be a soul-sucker,” she says. Pisces can of course enjoy weed, they just need to make sure they’re in the right headspace before toking up.

Even if your relationship with weed may be written in the stars, it’s not set in stone. Whether you’re an earth, fire, air, or water sign, weed can play any role in your life—even if it’s none at all.

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